Everyone deserves a kind word for Christmas. Yes, even Sri Lankan politicos. So, in that spirit, we’d like to thank the following lovely souls:

First the President. Merry Christmas, Mr President. I admit we had no idea who you were when we voted you in, but now we know each other better now. The good news is you’re still better than the R-clan (except at yoga) and the quality of your speeches has increased steadily – just like the inflation of the rupee.

Merry Christmas, Hirunika! And congratulations! You’re famous again. We see that you’ve run out of daddies and the strong empowered woman card is getting a bit scuffed. We’re not quite sure that the Mervyn / Gota rulebook is a good replacement – but you know what they say – all publicity is good publicity.

Merry Christmas, Ravi K. You’re the closest thing we have to a Santa – rotund, and with the apparent ability to perform economic miracles. I wouldn’t be surprised to see you sneaking into people’s houses dropping tax concessions into their Christmas stockings. By the way, we’re huge fans of your plan to transfer government accounts to private banks. We also love how your brothers are like Christmas elves – many and everywhere. Well played, sir, well played.

Merry Christmas to you too, Minister Bathuideen. We know you don’t celebrate Christmas, but your offer to leave politics is just as good.

And you, Mangala! Excellent work on combatting Foreign Ministry expenditure. If only the North Pole had you!  By the way, good job on getting those heathen blokes to not kill that Lankan lady. Santa would have saved her himself, but that’s restricted airspace. You know how it is.

But how can we forget Mr Ranil? Merry Christmas, sir. We applaud your efforts to connect the Pearl of the Indian Ocean with the ass-end of India. By the way: huge fans of the Megapolis, huge fans. Can you also look into this small matter of the roads? A Megapolis isn’t that useful if it’s a Megatrafficpolis.

And last but not least, you, the rest of the Parliament. We have no idea what you all are doing there, but you’re probably doing a good job. Well done! Keep doing what you’re doing! You can count on our tax rupees any day.

Best,
Sri Lanka

PS: Drop a comment if you’d like to wish any other exceptional politician a Merry Christmas!